Maples, Harmonic & Zolfo Cooper Touch Champions

CRFU): The fall of the first leaf from the tree, the migration of birds to warmer climes and the nights closing in are all signs that summer is coming to an end. Here in Cayman the end of summer can also be marked by the bonanza that is the Finals Day of the Summer Touch Rugby League. Hotter and sweatier than Lucifer’s armpit in a Hades heatwave, twenty-six teams turned out for the grand finals at the South Sound Rugby Ground in what has been one of the best touch rugby seasons ever. This summer has been a spectacular of sporting achievements and the Olympic Spirit of citius, altius, fortius was alive and well as players put their body, mind and soul into their team’s efforts.

Teams played for pride, for places, for the Plate and most importantly the title of “Champions” in a winner-takes-all Division Final.

DIVISION 1 FINAL – MAPLES1 v STEPPING STONES
Maples1 came through a competitive semi-final against Genesis Five Nations (4-1) whilst SteppingStones survived a scare and a half-time deficit against Trident Titans to win 2-1. This set up the final that everyone expected and hoped for. Two mighty touch rugby heavyweights would meet head to head. Think Autobots versus Decepticons, Marvel’s Avengers against Loki and the Chitaurian hordes or the Magnificent Seven against the Dirty Dozen – except in this case it would have to be the Magnificent Six against the Dirty… Six. Doesn’t have quite the same ring to it does it? Which team is which I shall leave up to you but the crowd was evenly split in their support of this one.

Maples1, the three timeschampions, have had a steady if unspectacular season. Ruthlessly efficient in the dispatch of their rivals it has only been the inimitable SteppingStones that have bloodied their nose this season – twice.  With a full quota of players to choose from Maples1 set a steely gaze against their nemesis, determined to hold onto their title.

(Photos by Caroline Deegan)

SteppingStones, a team of hired guns, have swept all before them this season. Fourteen games played, fourteen games won. Undefeated but not untroubled. They started the season in a Bon Jovi-esque blaze of glory, strutting with all the confidence of a bare-chested man in leather pants, cowboy boots and a poodle perm. These young guns rode into town with fast hands, lightning feet and packing considerable heat. They swept all before them. But as the seasons end approached they have showed signs of the jitters. Had they got a case of the gunslingers yips? Their last couple of league games were narrow wins and the semi-final was a wrought affair. Could they hold their nerve?
This was the Big One. A season’s toil would count for nought for whichever team lost the final. It may seem cruel to miss out on the big prize in this way but thems the rules my friend.

As referee Mick Kehoe went through his pre-match routine with his two line-judges James Melen and Dan Andersen the tension on their faces was clearly evident. These guys were the Good, the Bad and the Ugly in this particular metaphor but again I couldn’t comment on who was who.

As if accompanied by the strains of an Ennio Morricone soundtrack, the two teams faced off at the start of this showdown each sizing the other to see who would blink first. As the whistle blew the game started at a frantic pace. Maples1 were moving like a maelstrom, charging up the pitch with their first settles as SteppingStones reeled under the pressure. Six touches, six shots, but no score. When they eventually got the ball the Stones were noticeably slower, more lethargic in possession and without the structured play of their opponents. It seemed like wave after wave of Maples1 attacks crashed on the shores of SteppingStones who were in danger of being washed away.  Jyoti Choi opened the scoring, before Steve Henshaw equalized. Chandra Friesen put Maples1 ahead going into half-time (2-1). The score was close but the momentum was with Maples1.

The second half took much the same pattern as the first but then like a bolt of lightning from a thunderous cloud, Richard Gordon flashed through a defensive crack smaller than a leprechaun’s crease, to sprint 20 metres to the line. The roof came off.  This fellow has a magnificently deceptive dummy and side-step and used them both to full effect. There was daylight between the teams on the score board.  And then, if one arrow to the heart wasn’t enough, the second came a minute after. Emily Davies gave a double sidestep that completely wrong footed Riley Mullen and showed great acceleration to score, her shark skin shorts providing the extra streamlining necessary to get away from the more flappy-shorted Mullen. Two of the unsung heroes of Maples1 had put themselves firmly in the spotlight and had delivered two mortal blows.

SteppingStones pressed to bring the scores closer. In the centre of proceedings was Steve Henshaw, as indomitable and immovable a force as a 300lb mother-in-law. He cajoled, berated and urged his team forward, providing a running commentary to both teammates and the referee alike. Ray Galletly was running through gaps but couldn’t find the vital pass. Even his trademark Exocet Missile of a backhand pass missed the target. SEAL Team Six won’t be calling on his services for a raid on a terrorist compound any time soon. No matter how hard SteppingStones tried the scoreboard pressure made them force the game and they threw the ball away at vital times.  Their frustration was palpable. Strike runners, Rudolf Weder and Mullen, could not find a hole no matter how hard they probed. Eventually Wiki Hitchman crossed for the ‘Stones before Scott MacDonald scored a fifth for Maples1. It was game over as the clocked tick down. SteppingStones scored a consolation through Vikki Piaso but the result was never in doubt.  In a practical application of the Second Law of Thermodynamics where everything goes from Order to Chaos, SteppingStones magnificent season had come off the rails and crashed headfirst into the buffers. Maples1 had done it again. Division One Champions, for the fourth year in a row.

DIVISION 2 FINAL – HARMONIC v BROADHURST
Harmonic matched up against Broadhurst in the Division 2 final. Having beaten the Heineken Light Maidens in the semi-final equivalent of The Bald and the Beautiful, Harmonic took to the field with a team of experienced players – some might say “long-in-the-tooth” but I’m going to stick with “experienced”. Broadhurst, on the other hand are in their first season and have impressed everyone with their ability and enthusiasm. They were missing a few key players but had caused the upset of the day by beating Division 2 League winners Deloitte in the semi-final by 3-2. This was a massive boost and they felt positive going into the match.

What followed was an object lesson in controlled touch rugby. Solid defence combined with quick hands in attack and Harmonic was dominating the game. The confidence flowed through the side epitomized no more so than when Aussie Brad Cowdroy, a 6’3” towering, some might say lumbering, ex-back row forward, attempted a fleet-footed Fijian-style hitch kick to outrun an opponent. At this point the crowd knew anything was possible if not probable.

Tim Rossiter scored an excellent individual try when he double-backed upon himself in midfield (easier said than done) and ran around the outside of the outstretched arms of the Broadhurst defence to score in the corner. To say he was pumped after scoring would be an understatement, fully informing the referee that there was definitely not, no way, not ever, you must be joking, not on your nelly, a touch made on his ankle before he scored. The ref eventually agreed and the score stood. Neil Montgomery tried to rally his Broadhurst troops but they had shot their bolt in the semi and Harmonic always seemed to have the edge. Tim Fitzgerald and Cowdroy added the extras and the final score was 3-2 to Harmonic – Division 2 Champions.

DIVISION 3 – ZOLFO COOPER v DELTA FORCE
In the Division 3 Final, Zolfo Cooper took on Delta Force in a thrilling match that went right to the wire. Both in their first seasons in Cayman touch rugby, these teams finished first and second in the league, and both came unscathed through their semi-finals against Credit Suisse and KPMG2 respectively.

Division 3 is often called the “social” division but do not be fooled into thinking that the quality of touch rugby on show is not of a good standard or that the players don’t give it their all. They do – with bells on! (not literally).

The match was an extremely tight affair with the scores tied at 2-2 at full time. Jyoti Choi had notched up the scores for Delta Force and Marc Randall had done likewise for Zolfo Cooper. Both players had been instrumental and inspirational for their teams all season. But there can only be one winner and so the “Drop-Off” eliminator was brought into play. Teams continue to play until the next score but players are removed from the pitch at regular intervals. In the end, it was a full length dive for the line by Tom Eliot for Zolfo Cooper that won it. Johnny Weismuller, Greg Louganis and Jurgen Klinsmann put together could not have bettered his athletic leap. With a degree-of-difficulty factor of 3.6, Eliot’s dive had a pike and two twists before he crossed the try line with barely a splash. 

The ref was on hand to give it top marks and award the try. Heartbreaking for Delta Force but they can be proud of their first season’s efforts and come back next year to go one better. To Zolfo Cooper the spoils – Division 3 Champions.
In the Plate Finals congratulations must also go to Maples2 (Division 1), Campbells (Division 2) and GCM (Division 3) who all won their second-tier finals to cap off a great day and a fantastic season.

At the end of season Touch Rugby Awards Dinner held at the tranquil and serene Wharf Restaurant the individual player awards were announced to heartfelt and noisy applause:

DIVISION 1 – BEST MALE PLAYER  Neil Montgomery (KPMG1)
DIVISION 1 – BEST FEMALE PLAYER Lisa Bird (Trident Titans)
DIVISION 2 – BEST MALE PLAYER  Alastair Lum (Deloitte)
DIVISION 2 – BEST FEMALE PLAYER Karen Hart (Campbells)
DIVISION 3 – BEST MALE PLAYER  Ian Roberton (KPMG2)
DIVISION 3 – BEST FEMALE PLAYER Katherine Maw (Zolfo Cooper)
BEST NEWCOMER – MALE  Keiron Lyons (Harmonic)
BEST NEWCOMER – FEMALE  Marida Montgomery (KPMG1)
SPECIAL REFEREES AWARD   Mick Kehoe, Chandra Friesen, Justin Colgan, Steve Henshaw