Guest Writer

Paving Cayman Brac

Mac’s global meanderings are a loathsome waste. Extravagant government projects are black holes for precious funds. But here are two little-known projects that utterly floored me when I heard about and saw for myself the evidence of thoughtless spending: the first is the "Grand Highway" to nowhere.

I had the opportunity to attend the annual Agricultural Show on Cayman Brac recently. Last time I was there, the Ag show grounds entrance was a perfectly serviceable two-lane wide marl road leading to the show grounds, and there were marl parking areas. This year I was nothing less than shocked to see a four-lane shiny black asphalt paved double carriageway with tree-planted medians, connecting cross-overs, and additional turning lanes at the end where it intersects the main road. It reminded me of the entrance and main throughfare to one of those ritzy Miami subdivisions. The only thing missing was the guy in a gold-buttoned uniform in a security booth at the entry gate. Off to the side all the trees had been leveled to make way for big paved parking areas. (Could not they have saved at least some of the trees? After all this is an agricultural show venue, so I would think that some greenery — rather than "scorched earth and asphalt" — would be welcome.)

That’s not all folks: To cap it all off, the "Grand Bluff Highway" has two roundabouts! Roundabouts on Cayman Brac! According to some well-informed Brackers, the cost of this project went well into seven figures. This is for a facility that by all accounts gets used only once a year! As I rode from the airport area west on the Brac’s spanking-newly-paved shiny black asphalt north side road (I have no idea what the name of the road actually is since every damn sign I saw had a different name for the road) but anyway, as I went from west to east I noticed that many businesses had newly paved parking lots and it was plain to see more lots were being filled and graded in preparation for paving.

I whiffed the scent of a scandal!

So I asked a friend of mine and they said the parking lots were being paved "free of charge" to the businesses, and that all the businesses on the Brac were to get a paved parking lot. I hope this is just a rumour. But every Bracker I asked about it said this was being done for free. Several said the "UDP" and "Julianna" were behind the Grand Highway and the parking lots. How could the Brackers I spoke with all be wrong?

AMAZING! Hard working civil servants suffer the hardship of pay cuts and social programmes are trimmed so Cayman Brac can have a four-lane freeway that is used just once a year. And Brac businesses get new parking lots! What the hell is the UDP thinking?

All the Brackers I spoke with about this thought that the Grand Highway, while a very nice road indeed, was an overly extravagant expenditure and that in these austere times the money could be better spent to the benefit of the island as a whole. Many Brackers I spoke with about it are of the opinion that the Grand Highway is nothing more than a bold-faced move to buy votes. If that is true, I do not know what to say about the parking lots.

Several Brac residents in the group I spoke with informed me that the main north side road paving work ceased at the end of 2010 and that the National Roads Authority people and the paving crews have been on the Brac preparing and paving parking lots ever since.

Imagine that! It was bad enough to hear about the odd few driveways of political cronies getting a load of marl around election time. But free paved parking lots is so freaking far over the top that I just can not wrap my head around it! It is not even election time! What happens then for chrissake?

One particularly forthright Bracker said he was embarrassed by the wasteful spending and that he and many others on the Brac feared that when news of the projects got back to Grand Cayman that people would be (rightfully) indignant about such lavish spending on the Brac for unnecessary projects.

Now do not get me wrong here, I think Cayman Brac embodies the best of true Caymanian spirit and is my favourite place on earth to unwind. I often hear that the Brac is shortchanged and neglected in a lot of ways, and from all I hear and by what I know of the situation I tend to agree.

Cayman Brac deserves better than this!

For example, I ventured east on the south side road that weekend and I turned around well short of completing the otherwise lovely drive to the east end of the island because of the potholes and poor condition of the road. I was afraid I was going to break an axle on the car! You just can not manoeuvre to avoid hitting potholes; swerve to avoid one and you drive right over three more with car-bouncing, teeth-chattering results. Later that evening after dinner at the hotel when I brought up the subject, I heard tell of people getting flats and other vehicle damage from the potholes. I can see why. Would not the resources have been better spent fixing up that road rather than doing parking lots?

(Now what should I write about the $9-million soon-to-be-commenced "Bluff Grand Resort and Hurricane Shelter"?)

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Stewardship of our inheritance

I am absolutely appalled at the blatant disregard of the well being of the people of Cayman by ourelected officials. It seems to me that not very long ago, our government was at least making the effort to give the appearance of caring about its people, but recently, in light of the fact that our Premier seems to be abusing his position, I am left (almost) speechless by the depths he and his fellow “servants of the people” have gone and are continuing to go to profit from their positions of power.

Sadly, it appears they are taking advantage of their once loyal citizens, with three of our elected officials enjoying their pension whilst still earning a healthy government wage. We can all agree that by virtue of the law (written by those benefitting from it), this is legal but we can also agree that it is not a position that is entirely moral. We have heard them shout proudly about the decrease in the deficit whilst not telling you this has only come about because there are some bills that have yet to be paid (my bank balance also looks quite positive before I pay my bills each month). There are examples of local businesses struggling to make ends meet because our government has yet to pay for services rendered.

When will this stop? When will we manage to stand up and say “enough is enough”? What will it take for us to finally admit that we’re on the road to nowhere and we can’t afford to keep our premier in the style he’d like to be accustomed to?

What is happening here is actually no different to what happened in Trinidad and Tobago with the rise of Eric Williams some 50 years ago. There is a vast difference between Williams and our very own premier, most notably the fact that Williams was a very well educated man and a gifted speaker. However, the similarity lies in the fact that Williams made promises to the local population that he never kept; whilst he was enjoying the high life by means of his ability to abuse the status of public office that was gifted to him, many of his citizens were still left without water and electricity, disillusioned by the promises made of better times to come. As extreme as that may seem, we only need to take a cursory glance around to realise it is absolutely impossible and completely irresponsible to justify the expenditure of our government once we consider the reality of daily life of many of our citizens. We can easily find families right here on our own doorsteps – families that have very real difficulties in making ends meet.

How is it possible that with so many “haves” here in Cayman, once considered the fifth largest financial centre in the world, there are equally so many “have nots”.

Why do we have a foster home (to name just one of the many charities in need that have had their financial support from government decreased in recent years) at capacity that can’t find the $295,000 per annum to run and yet almost 20% of that amount was recently spent on a trip to Spain that doesn’t seem to have been vital to our existence during these tough economic times?

If we can’t find the impetus to do something about our leader(s) before the next election, I sincerely hope at that time it’s not too late. Change is coming and change must be made. Our leaders know this and perhaps this is the reason for the seemingly blatant plundering of our resources for their personal gratification. They must know their time is up and it would appear they’re becoming increasingly keen to benefit while they can. One would hope they are ignorant of the suffering that surrounds them, given the only other alternative is that they simply don’t care.

We’ve been asleep at our posts for too long now, so it’s hardly surprising we’ve been taken advantage of.

It’s time to wake up and plan for a brighter future.
 

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Rundown Review

One is never really sure what to expect from the 20-year theatrical tradition that is Rundown, let alone when the original writer is no longer involved. Having been to only two past productions, it was with mixed feelings of excitement and nervousness that I purchased my ticket from the CNCF offices behind the Harquail Theatre last week.

For those who don’t know, Rundown is a purely Caymanian traditional comedy review stage production, meaning the script reflects (and pokes fun at) the people and events of the last year. The other unique aspect of Rundown is the music. Calypso, being one of the defining musical genres of the Caribbean, is not only literally story-telling in song but is also defined by the clever use of metaphor and double entendre, not to mention comedy. As both a (famous) musician and the original writer for Rundown, Dave Martins has always written the play’s dialogue as well as its original music. His authorship from its beginnings in the early 90’s through the last decade set the tone and style of the production. However, after Dave’s departure from Cayman in 2009 the production took a hiatus in 2010 and now returns to the stage with Henry Muttoo taking on both roles of writer and director.

It was Saturday night and my anticipation was building as I took my seat in the Harquail Theatre. The lights dimmed precisely at 8:05 – no island time in this place! – and the production’s famous theme song began as cast members bounced up to the stage singing hilarious rhymes about “living in the Cayman Islands today”.

The narrative plays out in a ‘show within a show’ format, where Rita Estevanvich, a veteran Rundown cast member and programmes manager at the Foundation, plays Henry Muttoo – her boss! – and is conducting auditions for Rundown. Insanity quickly sets in as “McKeeva & Kurt” are called in for their audition and the infamous Quincy Brown and Steve McTaggert enter the stage to sing a hilarious rendition of a famous Sinatra song. As the auditions progress, so too does the calamity as Consuelo Ebanks makes her appearance, along with other long time veterans, Morgan Da Costa, Fritz McPherson and Michael McLaughlin. Giselle Webb’s portrayal of a Jamaican ballerina will have you ROTFL’ing (rolling on the floor laughing) as will Michael McLaughlin’s “grandpa” character, who recurs throughout the show. Nearly everything grandpa said had me laughing (literally) out loud!

Perhaps one of my favourite scenes is “Talk Across”, with Quincy Brown and Michael McLaughlin’s side-splitting re-enactment of a certain call-in radio programme, while the situational comedy of the Foster’s segment not only pokes fun at the multi-cultural aspect of “living in the Cayman Islands today” but also provides for some full-on physical comedy (not to mention a site gag that will have you gasping for breath). Also worth noting is the ‘tilet paper’ scene, starring original cast member Alan Ebanks, as it is probably the most intellectual toilet humour I’ve ever seen!

I wasn’t sure what to expect from the musical segments, being generally unfamiliar with Calyspo, but the exceptionally talented Quincy Brown carries the show’s musical numbers (with some assistance from Rita Estevanovich) with an ease and finesse that I’d venture to say is unmatched in these islands. Each highly entertaining song was a crazy situation fused with catchy Caribbean music and witty lyrics, which ultimately, I suppose, is the true essence of Rundown.

I won’t lie and say that anyone and everyone will connect with every portion of the show, but while the comedy does rely somewhat on knowing who the characters are and the situations they’ve been in, there are still many instances of universal characterizations and situational comedy that will surely entertain. It may also be helpful to know that much of the play is delivered in a local Caymanian dialect with bits of Jamaican, Spanish and even Indian thrown in for good measure.

Overall, I am extremely impressed with the caliber of the show. It was extremely creative with very clever and funny dialogue, hilarious situations, strong acting and characterizations and entertaining musical numbers that really enhanced the Caribbean aspect of the production. It was perhaps a tad long, taking up a full two and a half hours with intermission, but that’s not to say I felt the show dragging in any particular spot. It was pretty engaging throughout and moved well from scene to scene.

If you’ve never been to Rundown before I strongly suggest you don’t miss this opportunity to do so, if not for the entertainment factor then for the cultural experience of Caribbean theatre and music. If you have been before than I encourage you to come see how the show has evolved with a new writer at the helm. I truly enjoyed this year’s Rundown experience and I hope you will too.

CNS note: The show runs Thursday to Saturday at 8pm and Sunday at 6pm through till next weekend. Closing night performance is on Sunday 10 April at 6pm. Tickets are available at all Foster’s Supermarkets, Funky Tangs and the CNCF offices (call 949-5477) for $20.

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Respect

AsI sat and watched "Let’s Talk to The Experts" tonight on Cayman 27 I was utterly taken back by the way in which the Premier presented himself. To add context to what I am about to share, let’s take a step back and take note of the fact that this is the man who is leading this country. This is the man who was elected by the people and for the people. This is the man we have entrusted our country to.

As I sat in my living room interested to hear the issues surrounding the debate regarding the proposed dredging ofthe North Sound, I found this discussion overshadowed by the behaviour of Mr Bush.

For starters Mr Bush made it very clear from the onset that he was there to push his political agenda and not answers questions. As he read from the mess of papers in front of him he was resistant to answer any question that required him to put the papers to the side.

As Tammi Sulliman respectfully asked him the questions the people wanted to hear the answers to Mr Bush failed to answer the questions and appeared irritated with her when she inquired again. Mr Bush, there is no need to get irritated with Ms Sulliman. If you would answer the questions and not skirt around the issue, she would not have to repeat herself. If you would speak from your head and your heart instead of rigidly clinging to your papers you would be able to, and should be able to answer the questions the people want answers for.

As I tried to listen to the points of discussion I couldn’t help noticing the total lack of regard Mr Bush had for the other members of the panel. While other members of the panel were sharing their viewpoints, Mr Bush expressed his total lack of interest in their thoughts and was busy making notes or doodling on a piece of paper in front of him.

I am curious as to what was so important that Mr Bush chose not to give the other panelist a little respect by taking the time out to simply listen to what they wished to share. If Mr Bush is not willing to stop for a short while and listen to men of respect like Mr Bob Soto and Mr Peter Milburn, what hope is there that he will stop long enough to listen to you or me?

It is clear by the way in which Mr Bush spoke to the callers, to the panelists and to Ms Sulliman that he has no respect for anyone. It was clear as I watched Mr Bush spend his time doddling and talking around questions he is not concerned by the same issues we are concerned about.

As I sit in my living room feeling a sense of emptiness after watching the man who was elected to run our country I wonder who the bigger disappointment is, those of us who keep electing Mr Bush or Mr Bush for letting down those of us who keep electing him.

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