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Jamaica-Cayman cooperation opportunity

(Jamaica Gleaner): We are happy that the Cayman Islands authorities, as has been reported by the territory’s premier, Mr McKeeva Bush, are trying to think of ways to ease the visa restrictions they placed on Jamaican travellers. But while Mr Bush’s suggestion of opening entry to Jamaicans who already hold US visas can only be considered a first step, we assume that it is proffered in a genuine spirit of cooperation while both sides pursue a more practical fix.

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Robb’n and the Time of Ignorance

Gather round one and all for I have another story to tell. Does everyone remember the first chapter in the story of Robb’n in the Hood and The Sullen Men and all of the other folks that inhabit the land of Ya? I hope you do but if you don’t, don’t worry. I will tell you where to find that chapter at the end of today’s story.

Now today’s story is about a very scary time for the freedom loving people of Ya, and a time when Robb’n had a scare as well. You see today’s story begins at a time just after the people of Ya had taken Robb’n on a very long journey through time. They took him all the way from his comfort zone to the year 2010.

Now you might think that travelling to 2010 would not be much of an adventure for Robb’n because most of us live in the year 2010, but for Robb’n it was an ordeal. You see the people of Ya gave Robb’n and The Sullen Men just a little peek at 2010, but Robb’n did not like what he saw. In 2010 there was freedom of information and a free press and oversight by auditors who told the people of Ya how Robb’n spent their money. Those things allowed accountability to thrive, and that was just too horrible for Robb’n to even contemplate. The thought of the people of Ya having access to information regarding how Robb’n spent their money madeRobb’n’s head spin, and it gave his money-loving cronies severe tummy troubles. 2010 also had creatures called journalists and bloggers who scared Robb’n so much that whenever he was around any one of them he would say really silly things in an effort to scare them away – but it didn’t seem to work.

You see Robb’n and his cronies are most comfortable in the Time of Ignorance. In the Time of Ignorance creatures who could bully and rant and roar the way Robb’n could had their way. That meant that they could spend all of the money of Ya exactly how they wanted. In the Time of Ignorance comprehension was not a prerequisite to either ranting or roaring. In fact, as Robb’n had proved beyond any doubt, in the Time of Ignorance one did not have to understand anything if one could rant and roar loud enough.

In the Time of Ignorance nobody dared complain or ask any questions. Not only that, but in the Time of Ignorance nobody recorded or reported on what Robb’n and The Sullen Men and their cronies said, or did, or took for themselves when they thought that no one important was looking. Robb’n wished he could stay in the Time of Ignorance for ever.

Not everybody thought that Ya was a nice place to be in the Time of Ignorance. Some who had nothing to hide actually liked freedom of information and freedom of the press and all that these things meant in 2010. That was a problem for Robb’n. He liked to have lots and lots of poor people working hard and in silence, all so that they could give him their money. You see Robb’n liked it when the poor people paid his really really big salary and the really really big pension that he took at the same time for doing the same job. Robb’n also liked it when the poor people paid for his first class travel, and his servants, and all the bills that ordinary poor people had to pay for themselves.

Robb’n desperately wanted to find a way to make all of the people of Ya live in the Time of Ignorance with him. So Robb’n schemed and schemed a very big scheme. Robb’n schemed to change the law so that he would know who was asking questions about the money he spent. Not only that, he planned to change the law so that he would get more money to spend on himself and other foolish things, all at the same time. Robb’n said to himself; “I am so very very clever. With this change to the law of Ya I will let it be known far and wide that anyone wanting to ask a question will have to pay lots and lots of money first, and then I will punish anyone who still dares to ask a question. So Robb’n ordered the representatives of the people to attend the official meeting place so that he could roar and roar and roar some more about what a wonderful and clever fellow he was.

Robb’n roared at Mr. R. Denn of the Eastern Area and he roared at Mr. Al Denn of the Area of George and he roared at all the other members of the Official No Position. But he did not roar about the Denn that the people asked about most – that was Maybe Denn. You see, every time the people heard that Robb’n was about to do something terrible to them they would say, “Maybe Denn the Official No Position willdo something” – but they didn’t.

Robb’n roared at Mickey Mouse and everyone else that had dared to ask what had happened to the poor people’s money. He even roared at the very nice Wigged Lady who tries to referee the Blame and Inane Banter Game that Robb’n and the Official No Position play at the official meeting place. He roared about journalists and bloggers and people who criticized his extravagance, his Christmas lights and the silly silly things he says. He roared at people who make funny faces and he roared at the thousands of others who Robb’n claimed were responsible for everything he did that the people did not like. He roared about how Ignorance was bliss and how the people needed to trust him on that, and he roared of the need for everyone to like him and stay with him in the Time of Ignorance forever. And then, when everyone thought that he had roared his last roar, he roared once more – about the need for a Council of Oppression that he could use to control journalists and what the people of Ya were allowed to know. How wonderful he said it would be, if he could prevent the people from having access to information he did not think they should have. And then he growled a growl and his eyes flashed as he announced to the people that they would have a new and very special information police to help keep Ya in the Time of Ignorance for ever and ever. 

When Robb’n finally stopped roaring his roars, The Sullen Men clapped their hands and slapped their desks just the way that they had been told to do. You see, as we learned in the last chapter, The Sullen Men (for that was the name given by the people of Ya to Robb’n’s henchmen) were a very mixed lot. A very few of them occasionally came up with a good idea or three, but such ideas were rarely accepted by Robb’n or noticed by the people. Robb’n’s spent so much time saying silly silly things and roaring his roars and ranting his rants that almost nothing else was ever noticed by anyone. Even when a good idea was suggested by one of The Sullen Men and allowed by Robb’n, it was almost sure to be lost in some of the silly silly things Robb’n said or in the Blame and Inane Banter Game which Robb’n was teaching The Sullen Men to play.

Robb’n encouraged the Blame and Inane Banter Game as it was something which just might help distract enough of the easily mislead to keep the poor people’s money in his pockets. Robb’n was secure in the knowledge that all of The Sullen Men liked the poor people’s money too. None of The Sullen Men showed the nerve to stand up to Robb’n about anything. Despite the pleas of the poor people of Ya, The Sullen Men served Robb’n well in the official meeting place.

None of The Sullen Men dared to speak out of turn at the official meeting place. In fact they hardly spoke at all, not even about the budget of Ya. They said nothing about spending all of Ya’s money and a lot that was borrowed besides. The Sullen Men just sat and sat as that was what they were told to do.

Now another thing that you need to know about Robb’n is that Robb’n likes shiny things like medals. You see Robb’n had once heard that people who were talented in one way or other were sometimes given medals. Robb’n, being Robb’n, thought that there was no one more talented than Robb’n. After all, Robb’n had a higher opinion of himself than of anyone else, and that was the only credential he needed – or had. So Robb’n decided that Robb’n deserved medals, lots and lots of medals, and those who did exactly what Robb’n told them to do, well maybe they might get to hold a medal – at least for a while . And then Robb’n had another insight – which was very rare. “My medal plan is such a clever idea and my Council of Oppression idea is very clever too. I think that I should offer a medal to any journalist who only gives the people of Ya exactly the information that I say that they should have.”

Robb’n was exceedingly pleased with himself. He could give the medals out and take them back whenever he felt so inclined. Not only that, but he might be able to convince some of his more inexpensively bought supporters to accept medals rather than appliances. “That would be really really good for my wallet,” thought Robb’n, and it was exceedingly practical as well. You see, it was hard to get back and re-gift used appliances. And then Robb’n smiled a big smile as he thought how medals bought in bulk and paid for in advance by the poor people of Ya just might help secure the next of Ya’s elections.

Now I know that some ofyou might be inclined to make funny faces when I tell you about some of the silly silly things that Robb’n says and does, but I have to warn you that Robb’n does not like that at all – and he may be watching. You see Robb’n has observed that some people make funny faces when he roars his roars and rants his rants. Robb’n has even ordered his Proto-Call people to issue an official statement that says that protocol requires the people of Ya to agree with whatever Robb’n spends or says or does – and no questions allowed. The Proto-Call people have also prohibited anyone from making a funny face without Robb’n saying “Robb’n says” first.

Now no doubt you are thinking, what should the people of Ya who do not want to live in the Time of Ignorance do? If the people of Ya allow him, Robb’n will not hesitate to shut the door on freedom of thought and the rest of 2010. There are even those who speculate that all those new CCTV cameras in Ya will be used to catch those committing the new offense of making a funny face in response to one of Robb’n’s silly silly roars, or the next huge personal bill of his that he wants the poor people of Ya to pay. That is a very scary prospect indeed, but it hasn’t happened yet and it need not ever happen. There are things that we the poor people of Ya can think, things that we can write, things that we can say, and things that we can do – but time is running out.

We the people of Ya can continue to point out what is right and wrong when Robb’ n seems to care only about what is profitable for him and his friends. We can poke and poke and poke the people of the Official No Position until they wake up and start to protect our freedoms. We can start petitions. We can arrange for big questions to be asked in the official meeting place in Angle-Land – questions that might wake up the High Sherriff of Ya, who is also supposed to keep an eye on Robb’n and other threats to law and order. But most of all we can put on our whompers and straw hats, or our sneakers and baseball caps, and we can practice marching. It is good exercise and all.

Robb’n’s Time of Ignorance may appear to be walled the way his home is intended to be, but the walls of Ignorance are, for the moment, nothing but wet sand. Like the ancient city of Jericho in the Old Testament, with the right leader and the people of Ya marching, the walls around Robb’n’s Time of Ignorance will fall as surely as night follows day. For you see, Robb’n and his cronies fear the prospect of the people marching even more than they fear that the people will learn what they are taking and doing. They feed on our little fears, our little weaknesses, and our laziness.

There are many among you my people of Ya who have the honesty, integrity, intelligence, fortitude, common sense and common decency that Ya needs in its leaders. Who among us is willing to lead in the fight to protect our freedoms? Who will stand and march for Ya and for what is right? Who will march to show Robb’n that we are his master and not the other way around?

CNS has kindly provided for the previous chapter in thechronicles of Robb’n to be found here:

The Machinations of Robb’n in the Hood

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Desmond Seales

The news of Desmond Seales’ death hit me hard on a personal basis. Desmond was one of the mostmemorable characters I ran into during my brief stay in Cayman. It didn’t take long after I arrived to figure out that he was a colorful figure who might have lived by P.T. Barnum’s famous quip that there was no such thing as bad publicity.

Desmond was a throwback to a different era of journalism. Among the milder epithets hurled at him at times was that of “yellow journalist”. To hear his detractors describe him, you would quickly conclude that he never let the facts get in the way of a good story. His defenders would argue that he was the only established Caymanian journalist who wasn’t afraid to poke a figurative stick in the eye of any of the resident “powers that be”. Certainly, he had a habit of making himself unpopular with whoever held the reins of power at a given time.

Not long after I arrived on island I made myself unpopular among some in the Caymanian news community by making clear my reservations about the formation of a local “media council”. I felt then (and still feel now) that the actual object was to gang up on Desmond and make him persona non grata in hopes that marginalizing him would relieve pressure from the government on other media outlets.

The council never got off the ground, but I’ve never regretted taking that stand, especially since I’ve noticed that “self governing” media councils are a popular idea among Caribbean governments hoping to muzzle annoyingly independent news outlets by letting self-censorship take over from government censorship. If a government can function without the oversight of an active free press without worries about embarrassing stories coming to light it doesn’t really matter whether that’s because of government censorship or a press that’s unwilling (or afraid) to report on them; the public is still poorly served.

Desmond was indeed a bundle of contradictions. He loved to trumpet his devotion to reporting all the news of Cayman “without fear or favor”. Yet, his own business dealings often left him open to accusations that he was in fact beholden to one set of power brokers or another. He published columns from diverse sources, such as Gordon Barlow, whose curmudgeonly diatribes on Cayman’s social divisions surely mean an increase in antacids and blood pressure medicines in certain quarters whenever they appear. However, Desmond also had room for a local preacher, local businessmen and a proud native son. Giving voice to those who might in some way feel voiceless were it not for his outlet was something he did without fear or favor.

Of course, it was irony of the highest order that Desmond wanted to portray himself as the voice of the “little man” while running his own business in a manner that caused constant turnover and left more than one employee embittered and vowing some sort of revenge.

Any remembrance of Desmond would not be complete without mentioning that while he loved to point to shady dealings around Cayman he had a few skeletons of his own hanging in the closet.

In his own way, Desmond was athrowback to an earlier time: he might have found kinship with Benjamin Franklin, who before becoming one of the Founding Fathers of the United States, set type, drew cartoons and wrote witty and learned essays for his own newspapers and magazines.
Others who think less kindly of him, might compare him to William Randolph Hearst, Junior, who once famously told a photographer (pre Spanish American War), “You provide the pictures, I’ll provide the war.”

For myself, I think of Desmond as more in league with the original Hollywood movie makers such as Harry Cohn, Mack Sennett and Louie B. Mayer, who bent the rules and broke the molds. Desmond never made it to that level of wealth and influence, but in my opinion he was a
kindred spirit. Certainly his willingness to embrace the Internet and attempts to tap it’s potential was as grandiose and visionary as anything theHollywood bosses ever dreamed up.

I remember fondly a night at Durty Reid’s when we shared a table and maybe one too many beers and he spelled out his vision of a Caribbean version of “USA Today” that would help unify the region. I don’t remember the details, but, I do remember that it was breathtakingly compelling. It may not happen in my lifetime, but I certainly hope it does.

It’s ironic that Desmond’s passing comes at a time when the party in power is renewing calls for media “self-regulation” and seeking to to overturn the ability of political opponents, reporters or the merely curious to file anonymous freedom of information requests. At a time when independent voices are more needed than ever, the loudest and most independent voice in Caymanian media is gone.

However imperfect he may have been, Desmond Seales was certainly one of a kind. In the words of Shakespeare, “He was a man, take him for all in all, I shall not look upon his like again”

Mike Hennessy is the former news director of Rooster 101

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